There use to be a man called old jimbo,He used to be described as the old cranky monster.He was tired of every one saying this.So then he decide to get revenge,he then went to the lord of the sea and asked “Can I have a favor”the man nodded yes so then old jimbo asked “can I have revenge on everyone” he nodded yes again so they tried to turn everyone to their own plastic and dirt they threw into the water. So they did but obviously old man Jenkins came to the rescue and with his trusty chiwowa he won the fight
the end
Hi Brian,
do you know I think i have herd a story like that before. Also I think there is a restaurant called lord of the sea. lastly I think next time you should not end with The End. Pleas wright back.
Hi Brian,
I loved your story about old Jimbo getting revenge. Maby next time you could describe old Jimbo more. But I really liked when Jenkins came to the rescue.
https://kidblog.org/class/am-ray-rockstars-201819/posts?author=ee6nuvmdz54hka7h9yw8w0qez&status=published&status=review&status=draft
Dear Brian,
I liked how you included funny names. I also liked how you used some stuff that a lot people might not know. I also read about this picture from another person. I think you should add more details so your readers can visualize your story. Another thing you could improve on is adding more dialogue to your story. I look forward to hearing back from you!
From, Amalia in Illinois