WK17 The Human Snake!?!

Well just a week ago, a snake escaped from its owner, the snake got out of a clock-shaped cage, which looked imposible to escape. Anyway this snake was no ordinary snake… *DRAMATIC MUSIC*….It is a….. talking snake.*DRAMATIC MUSIC OFF*. One day the same snake went into a lab and bumped a red potion that said *HUMAN POTION*. It looked like rat blood so the snake drank it and became, a human. And before that the snake got in the lab through the vents. The snake started to go to school. He cycled to school everyday. Well ssssssssssssee ya *SAID IN A SAKE VOICE*. But what will happen next?

7 thoughts on “WK17 The Human Snake!?!”

  1. Hi Filip!
    Your story was GREAT! I liked how you put all the *DRAMATIC MUSIC* in it that was really good! And I liked how your piece was REALLY funny!

    Well done!
    come visit our blog!

    From Katie

  2. Hi Filip,
     
    This is a really nice piece – a really great use of the prompt! You describe a dark and clinical scientific story involving a snake that gruesomely turns itself into a human and adopts the behaviour of one. I can relate to this as I remember watching films that discuss similar themes such as Night at the Museum, were the dummies turn into real life and adopt human behaviours. The way you integrate the prompt words is seamless and really effective. Rather than mentioning the clock as a physical clock, you construct it as a shape for the snake’s cage. This is really unique and an effective method. The way that the snake can talk to begin with is intriguing and draws in the reader. I wonder what potion he must have previously swallowed to be able to do that! The escape from the cage makes the piece dramatic and keeps the reader hooked. Your use of the emphasised words is really effective, as this gives the piece an almost film like vibe. With the snake becoming a human, and heading off into the human world, your story ends on a cliff hanger, leaving the reader wondering as to what the snake will possibly do next. This is really effective. Good use of punctuation and grammar too, especially your use of capital letters and the rhetorical question. Keep up the good work!

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