WK:15 The crystal collector

In the beginning Mia hated crystal now she loves them it was on her birthday she got a present from her mother and father it was collection box she had to collect crystals she loved it. The next day she went to the cave beside her house  she saw lots of crystal like amyethsts jaspers and pearls in the cave water she collected them she saw a diamond a pink diamond she was so happy.

5 thoughts on “WK:15 The crystal collector”

  1. Well done on your entry this week Al Amin. Those crystals sound lovely, but the pink diamond sounds even nicer!
    It would be great to find crystals and diamonds beside your house.
    Keep up the great writing.
    Ms Brennock

  2. Hi Al Amin,
    A really great story; a good use of the prompt! You describe a really honest and personal experience for Mia, who loves looking for crystals. Such a topic gives the piece a familiar feel. I can relate to this as we all of something we are particularly interested in. The way you provide a name for the character like Mia makes sure that the reader is aware of who is who. I like the way you set out the background of the story, ie that she didn’t used to like crystals but now does. This really grounds the piece. Your use of an object to centre the piece around, a birthday gift from mum and dad, is really special.. The addition of specific information like names of different crystals such as amethysts jaspers and pearls show great knowledge. The ending of having Mia find the perfect crystal she wants, the pink diamond, is really sweet, and having the knowledge that she ends the story happy is comforting. Keep up the good work!

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