WK:12 Santas broken sleigh

One day as santa was getting ready to go to earth to deliver presents on Christmas Eve. His sleigh had been broken down. His wife said”Oh SANTA YOU HORRID MAN YOU ARE SUPPOSED DELIVER THE PRESENTS YOUR SO LAZY BUZY EATING A SANDWICH. Santa replied “but my sleigh has broken down. Mrs Claus had an idea she was going to build an energetic battery to fix up santas sleigh. She said to Santa “I am going to paint your sleigh white and no excuses you already made enough busy eating sandwiches. She hurried so Santa wouldn’t be late to deliver the presents. Santa made it in time to deliver the presents but one little girl wanted a doll house but he delivered a toy car.

4 thoughts on “WK:12 Santas broken sleigh”

  1. Hi Benjamin!
    I love how Mrs. Claus said “Oh SANTA YOU HORRID MAN YOU ARE SUPPOSED DELIVER THE PRESENTS YOUR SO LAZY BUSY EATING A SANDWICH.” One thing you could do is capitalize the title, capitalize the B in broken and S in sleigh. When my family were driving, I saw a broken sleigh. Have you ever seen a broken sleigh?
    From, Bo in illnois
    Check out my blog! https://kidblog.org/class/rays-1718-pm-rockstars/posts?author=74h6s1q0j8xiozembaawbrx8p&status=published&status=review&status=draft

  2. Hi Benjamin,

    I enjoyed reading your story, I think that you made very imaginative use of the prompt words. I love that your story is about Christmas. It sounds like Mrs Claus saved the day! Keep up the good work!

    Ms Mc Namee

    msmcnameesclass.100wc.net

  3. Dear Benjamin,

    A really nice story! This is a very festive piece of descriptive writing, particularly topical around Christmas time! You form a funny storyline that keeps the reader wanting to hear more. The description of Santa Clause is one of laziness, and this comes with a lot of comic aspects. I can relate to this as I love Christmas films, and they often explore different interpretations of Santa. I like the way you frame how Mrs Clause helps Santa out by giving the sleigh battery power and painting it up. You demonstrate good use of grammar and punctuation, such as your use of quotation marks. I wonder what will happen next year? Keep up the good work! 

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