Wk9The beautiful forest

One stormy night I was at a stormzy concert it was   crowded  and lots of fights  kicking diging it was a crazy night. …… the next day went out to the forest . I felt like I was in a different world . It was so beautiful . Me and Luke went home . To get our clothes . We decided . That we will sneak out  for a year and come back. Here we were at the forest the most beautiful view you will ever see in your life . It was a view over beautiful buildings . And lots of people …. the next year we said we had to go back home .  So we did by forest  forever …. Luke started to get very sick over someone cutting the trees …. luke has past away…. 

 

3 thoughts on “Wk9The beautiful forest”

  1. Great story Roy I think I know who the guy called stormz is and it’s sad when Luke passes away any good job

    -Isaac

  2. Hi Roy,

    I like the way your story starts at a lively Stormzy concert and then switches to a beautiful forest. Your descriptions for the forest are very effective at helping the reader realise how stunning it is. It’s very sad that Luke passes away at the end. Maybe you could try and work on your use of punctuation to clearly show where sentences start and end, as this could help your story to flow more easily.

    Thanks for taking part in 100WC this week.
    Hannah (Team 100) -Birmingham, UK

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